Awaken the Genie Within

Being There

The movie Being There, staring Peter Sellers, in my opinion, was a wonderful and inspirational movie. When I recently heard a little back story about it, it was just another confirmation about what can happen when we stay true to ourselves and follow our dreams.

Mr. Sellers wanted to make and star in the movie from the moment he read the book by Jerzy Kosinski. The only problem, whenever he pitched the idea to someone, he was shot down - telling him there's no way this could be a movie worth making. This went on for years, and it wasn't until the Pink Panther series put Mr. Sellers on the map, that he was able to get the movie made.

As it turned out, he was nominated for an academy award in the Best Actor category and his co-star, Melvyn Douglas, won Best Supporting Actor. Mr. Sellers had said that this movie came to be because of his unwavering belief that this was a story worth telling on the big screen, no matter what it took to achieve. Ironically, it would be the last movie he ever made. He died 6 months after its release and I would imagine, having his dream realized, allowed him to die with a sense of completion.

When you believe in something strong enough, from a place so deep within, you can make it happen. It just doesn't matter what others think or say. When you remain in a place of deep commitment to yourself and your dreams, dreams do come true.

Check in with yourself. Are you able to stand firm in your belief in spite of what others are telling you? Are you willing to be patient enough to trust that the Universe is placing things on your path that bring you closer to your dream when you don't recognize it as such?

How Do You Not Love Yourself?

Years ago, a mentor of mine asked me about the ways I don't love myself. The question caught me off guard because I believed that I really did love myself. However, when she brought a few things to my attention that we were working on, such as not allowing myself to play until all my work was done (there was always work to be done) or not exercising to keep my body strong, I understood her point.

I made a list of all the ways I didn't love myself and came up with twelve items. I was absolutely shocked! Once I saw, in black and white, how I wasn't loving myself, it made it easier to take action and love myself the way I knew, deep down, I deserved to be loved.

With each change I made, external circumstances were showing up differently that were more to my liking; people were more respectful of my time, I received more help around the house without asking, I attracted jobs in my career that were with wonderful people. It seemed the more I loved and respected myself, the more I got back in support of this. And over 10 years later, the love is still pouring in.

So with that said, I invite you to give some thought to the things you do or don't do in your life that may represent you not loving yourself. Here's some possibilities to get you started:
1. Not paying bills on time.
2. Living in a cluttered environment.
3. Constantly putting others before yourself.
4. Not exercising.
5. Living with debt.

If there's one thing I'm absolutely sure of, it's this: When we are unable to genuinely love ourselves it's impossible to give and receive love in its most authentic form.

The Need To Be Right

I'm amazed at the amount of energy people use when needing to be right about something - especially when it all boils down to personal belief. As I stood in a long line at the grocery store, a conversation was taking place behind me between two women that was getting interesting, to say the least.

They were discussing a political issue and went from a friendly, casual conversation, to one of hostility and each woman needing to prove the other wrong. It got so heated that the other shoppers were looking at them in amazement. When the women noticed this they stopped the conversation immediately, looking rather embarrassed.

This made me think how important, the need to be right is, for so many people - no matter what the circumstances or even the consequences sometimes. Our egos become so enmeshed in the moment, that it can feel like we're defending our life and we no longer hear anything the other person is saying. The amount of energy that is exerted can be enormous and turn a pleasant time into a rotten time all in the name of being right.

The truth is, we are all Spiritual Beings having a human experience and view the world through our own filter system. And because of that, there are, and always will be, varying degrees of beliefs and opinions. We are all on different points of our paths and depending how far apart those paths are will often determine how easily our feathers get ruffled because of someone else's beliefs.

Do you find yourself needing to be right to the point of becoming aggravated with the other person? Do you ever get so fed up that you'll walk away and go to someone else and retell the event so that person agrees with you and makes you right?

When an opportunity presents itself, make a conscious decision to not have to be right and see what happens. Allow people to have their say and consider it an interesting perspective instead of one that is wrong or ignorant.

Letting go of the need to be right can truly transform your relationships and bring you inner peace. Play with it. Test the waters and see what unfolds for you and all the relationships you encounter in your life.

After all, would you rather be right or happy?

Experiences and Your Vision

A friend and I were spending a wonderful day together laughing and catching up since we hadn't seen each other in a long time. Along with talking about spiritual issues and our long-term dreams, I asked her what her perfect day would consist of. She shared many wonderful things but it was her description of going to Paris with her husband that sent up a flag for me.

"Our driver would take us to the airport where the pilot is waiting to fly us to Paris for a long weekend on our private jet. This jet is luxurious and it even has a special head rest on several seats that supports my neck so I'm pain free throughout the whole flight!"

I interrupted her before she could continue on.
"If this is your perfect day, why in the world would you include your neck pain?" I asked.

"Because I live with this pain more days than not and I want to be comfortable." She said.

"But this is your fantasy day, leave the pain behind. You don't stand a chance of ever being pain free if you bring it with you in your imagination, too."

She got the message. It's so important when creating your perfect anything that you leave out all past experiences that limit you in any way. Create your experiences around your dreams. Don't create your dreams around your experiences.

Experiencing Grief

A long time subscriber to my monthly ezines and this blog emailed me and asked if I would write something about grief. I wrote back inviting her to write something since she is presently going through the grieving process and it would hold much more value than me writing about something I'm not experiencing at this moment. Grief is a delicate subject and profoundly personal. I believe it deserves a deep connection to the experience when writing about it. Here is what she wrote:

A couple of days ago I lost my best friend. He was 15. He was my cat, E.T. We shared quite a bond. The decision to stop his suffering was logical but gut wrenching. The feelings afterward were disbelief, pain, extreme sadness and a feeling of being in a surreal situation. I write about grief because I've experienced it on several occasions and each time I think my reaction will be different but it never is. As much as one tries to avoid those intense feelings, they're meant to be in your soul at that moment to grieve a loss that was part of your life. The compassion and sympathy for me from loved ones has helped me to come to terms with this loss.

I know in this time of mourning I will be patient, compassionate and non-judgmental toward any emotions that might flare up. I will give myself permission to be sad, to eat tons of chocolate if I may, to look at pictures of my friend and cry uncontrollably. I will grieve until I'm ready to stop, until my heart has been mended once again. There is no timeframe for this. I know I will see E.T. again. I picture him running through meadows that are green, with vibrant colors around him. I picture him completely healthy again, restored and youthful.

If I can leave you with one thing, whether you are presently grieving, have grieved, or never grieved, know that the greatest gift you can give yourself is time. Allow yourself to experience whatever emotions come your way and embrace them, even if they don't feel comfortable. Know that one day, when you least expect it, you will be able to get through the day and find much to smile about again.

I would like to add one thing. Grief isn't just about the death of a person or an animal. We can find ourselves grieving from a break-up, a child going off to college, a best friend or family member moving far away. When there is a loss in our life, there is sadness, and it's important to honor all the emotions that show up from any loss you are experiencing.