Awaken the Genie Within

I Can't Deal With This

The dialogue I heard went something like this:

"I'm having a really hard time dealing with my dad's death."
"How long ago did your dad die?"
"Three years ago."
"What are you having the hardest time with?"
"My mom called and said she's getting married and I told her I can't deal with this right now and hung up."
"Your mom called to tell you some wonderful news and you told her you can't deal?"
"Yes."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I miss my dad and it's hard to move on."
"In the past three years have you enjoyed any family vacations with your husband and children?"
"Yes."
"In the past three years have you gone to parties and enjoyed the company of friends? Have you had some laughs and great times?"
"Yes."
"So we could say that you've been able to move on with your life since your dad's death, yes?"
"I guess so."
"Yes, you have moved on. Do you like this man you're mom's been dating and now going to marry?"
"Yes."
"So why in the world would you deny your mother her joy or her ability to move on with her life?"
"I don't want to deny her joy or the ability to move on. I'm just still really sad about my dad dying."

I won't continue on with the rest of the dialogue because you've been given enough for what I want to share with you.

Sometimes people lose sight of the fact that they expect others to play by their emotional rules. If they're hurting they can find it difficult to participate in someone else's joy. And they may also think that other people should be respectful of the pain they're feeling by not sharing their joyful moments with them.

The truth is, people have every right to bring joy into their own life as often as possible even when a friend or family member is hurting. Yes, of course there's times when we should be respectful and not throw our joy in someone's face when the pain they're experiencing is very new and raw.

I shared this dialogue with you for the purpose of looking within. When I heard it, instead of judging it I searched inside to see if I've ever pulled the emotional pain card on someone - yes I did. And this dialogue gave me the opportunity to see it very clearly and learn even more.

So now I invite you to notice if you or someone you know plays the emotional pain card from time to time. It's a game that's unfair, selfish and can be very destructive - to one self and a relationship.

When we stand in love that card never has to be played and the only thing we get back in return is more love.

Reaching Out to You!

This post is unlike any I have written in the past 3 years because I have a dream and I am now reaching out to you for your help!

As you know, I wrote a book, Awaken The Genie Within; A Handbook to Help You Silence Your Gremlin, Manage Your Emotions and Bring Out the Best of Who You are. My purpose in writing this book is to guide others so they may embrace the changes they want to achieve, regardless of what they are facing.

My passion is to have this book in the hands of people who are ready to wake up to their personal truth and live by that truth as often as possible so they experience a life that is filled with peace and joy. For the past few weeks I have been asking myself how I can partner with a like-minded company and/or organization to reach this audience.

So, here is what hit me while taking one of my daily walks!

Reach out to YOU!

You might know of a company, profit or non-profit, a person, a contact...who knows! I have a dream list to share with you:

Dove
Burke Williams Spa
Kiel's
The Body Shop
More magazine
Celestial Seasonings
Panhellenic Council (National Sorority Organization)

Any contact at all is great! Whoever I connect with along the way can certainly lead me to the next person and then the next until I reach the right person to speak to. Remember, it doesn't have to only be a contact within my dream list. You may have another company or organization contact that would be a good fit to partner with.

It is with tremendous passion and excitement that I work toward getting Awaken The Genie Within into the hands of those who can partner with me to make a difference in others lives in a huge way. Your help, in any way, to make this happen is soooo greatly appreciated.

And, as always, if there is any way I can serve YOU, please let me know.

Remember, if you have a dream too, ask, ask, ask for help. You never know what will show up to make that dream come true!

With Blessings,
Linda
310-375-4800
linda@awakenthegeniewithin.com

Remember To Play

I would like to share with you a passage I read in a book - The Three Only Things by Robert Moss

"We give the best of ourselves to our favorite games. These may be games that involve winning or being ranked or being first across a finish line, games in which success comes with prizes and titles. The winnings may include a truckload of money, or an Emmy or a Nobel prize, or survival against adversity, or getting our kids through school - or the prize may be meaningless to anyone who is not sitting on the other side of the table.
The game we play with the aim of winning, philosopher James Carse reminds us, are finite games. We give our very best when we are conscious of playing the larger game, which he calls the infinite game. Infinite players don't play to win; they play for the sake of playing.
There's nothing wrong with playing to win, or playing for money, as long as we remember that when we do this we are choosing a finite game, within the infinite game. The problems arise when we forget that we chose the game. If we are doing something because we believe we must do it, if we tell ourselves we have no choice, we are not playing."

May you always remember to play the infinite game for it is being part of that game where you will find your greatest joy.

Another Lesson From Basketball

I know, I know! Two lessons from basketball in just a matter of weeks. What can I say, basketball playoffs are here and I devour every moment of it - not just watching but reading about it. And, it was in the Los Angeles Times where I found yet another lesson. This lesson coincides with my post Arguing With Reality.

The Lakers star player, Kobe Bryant, injured his back during a game. As difficult as this could be for the team if he were not in top condition for the next couple of games, Coach Phil Jackson spoke like the sage he oftentimes reveals himself to be.

Jackson said he wouldn't be surprised if Bryant began shooting in a day or two. At the same time, the Lakers coach said he couldn't control the outcome of Bryant's recovery.
"I'm not concerned at all," he said. "I haven't spent any time thinking about it. I have nothing to do with his recovery. He's either going to recover or not recover. What I have to do is prepare this team to play."
LA Times - Mark Heisler

There are things you can control in your life and things you can't. When you spend time worrying about or trying to change the things you can't control you are exerting wasted energy. You are taking your focus away from what you do have control over and therefore stopping the flow of creating new opportunities. And with this comes a great deal of self-inflicted suffering.

I can't remind you enough that your Gremlin will do Its best to run you into the ground trying to get you to worry about the things you have no control over. Reread the five tips that you downloaded from my website to quiet that little bugger so you can...

Let go, continue on and thrive!

If you don't have the 5 tips you can get them here: http://www.awakenthegeniewithin.com

 

Breathing Your Own Fumes

Lately I've been talking to a few friends and family members who have been going through some difficult times. While I was listening to what they were sharing with me a common theme kept showing up that had me say this on several occasions, "You need to stop breathing your own fumes for a while."

What was so interesting was how everyone took in that statement at a very deep level. The minute they heard this they understood exactly what I was saying and knew that's what they were doing, causing them to feel stuck and frustrated.

When we get to a place where we can't see beyond our own noses and everything feels like a struggle, it's time to step outside of our environment and ourselves so we can breathe in a new perspective. The tricky part, however, is the longer we've been breathing our own fumes, the easier it is to become asphyxiated making it harder to come up for fresh air to create a new reality.

It requires a conscious effort to be aware when you're getting sucked in by your own fumes so you can do something about it before you're feeling like there's no answers available to you. I have a little sign that says, "How's my fume level?" that sits in my office. When I'm really stuck and I see those words it's a great reminder to reach out for help or leave the environment to clear my head for a while.

I invite you to make a reminder for yourself. Maybe a sign that says the same thing I wrote or something like - "Am I breathing my own fumes?", "How long have I been breathing my own fumes?", "Is it time to come up for fresh air?" Write whatever is going to have the biggest impact on you so you take the action that's going to have you breathing air that adds life to you.

Confrontation

After a talk I gave recently a woman came up to me wanting some guidance on a situation that's she's been afraid to face involving another person. She expressed how much she hates confrontation and it keeps her from sharing her truth and concerns, often.

When she was done speaking I asked her a question: "Why are you automatically assuming this is going to be a confrontation?"

She said, "I guess because I'm afraid she's not going to be happy with what I want to say and it's going to make her angry."

Because there were others waiting to talk to me I quickly shared something with her that gave her enough to ponder and give it a try.

"When you come from a place of integrity and truth with no intention to hurt another human being, saying what you need to say without blame and with responsibility for your part, how she reacts is out of your hands. If anger shows up in the moment, you have a choice. You can step into her anger creating the confrontation you're afraid of, or, you can remain in a state of calm while holding a space for love and compassion as you do your best to understand her feelings and still honor your own. A confrontation cannot exist without two people participating in it."

Helping others speak their truth is a huge part of my coaching practice. I know it's scary to step up and say what's true for you when you're so concerned with how someone's going to react. But if there's anything I've learned while breaking through my own fears of confrontation it's this; there is nothing more empowering and loving than being able to express ourselves in a way that not only honors our truth but allows us to hold a place for compassion and respect for the other person.

Whether it's needing to move on from a relationship or solve a business issue, the more you stand in your intention to resolve or move on for the highest good of all concerned, the sooner you'll realize that there never needs to be a confrontation in your life again. I invite you to drop the word confrontation from your vocabulary. The word itself holds a lower vibrational energy that creates the fear within and sets the stage before you've even stepped on to it.

P.S. Megan, the woman from my talk, called to let me know she applied what I shared and was blown away how well it all turned out. The other woman did get angry but Megan stayed centered and after about 10 minutes they were able to talk calmly and come to an understanding that pleased both of them.