Awaken the Genie Within

Making Him Change

My husband tore a comic out of the newspaper and left it on my desk, knowing full well it would be one I would appreciate since a great deal of my coaching revolves around relationships.

The comic is Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis and the title for this particular comic is:
Rat and Pig See a Family Therapist

Rat: "Hi. My friend and I aren't getting along. I was wondering if you could help us by blaming him for everything and making him change.

Therapist: "I'm afraid that's not how it works."

Rat: "Perhaps you're not a good fit for us."

As silly as this seems, I can't tell you how many people I work with truly believe if the other person would just change their behavior everything would then be fine between them. The truth is, no matter what is going on in a relationship, there are two parties involved and each plays a role that creates the dynamics taking place within the relationship.

There are often two things that happen when relationships are struggling.
1. We have taught people how to treat us and what they can expect from us.
2. We allow what we are unhappy about to continue without speaking up because of fear and believe it's all about the other person.

I invite you to think about any relationships in your life right now and consider how one, or perhaps both of the above circumstances may be why there's a strain in your relationship. I know it's not easy to see how you may be playing a very large part in the struggle so in my next blog I'm going to share a story with you that contains both circumstances to help shed some light to see from inside out.

Keeping Watch

Wise words to live by:

Watch your thoughts; they lead your attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead your words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny.
Unknown origin

Shared by Michael Josephson - www.charactercounts.org

Things Are Just Things

Recently I learned how easy it really is to let go of things. While working in my home office I was interrupted by a knock on the door - it was my wonderful house cleaner who I absolutely adore. She's honest, full of heart, is fun to chat with and just brings a bright spot to my day whenever she's in my home.

I told her to come in and with one look at her face I knew something was wrong. She hesitantly showed me an item that she had broken. Her grave concern was because she knew this was an item that was near and dear to my heart because of who and where it came from. With tears in her eyes she apologized profusely.

For a moment my heart sank and I felt like crying, too. But within a matter of seconds my magnificent Genie stepped in, pushing aside the Gremlin allowing me to say to her, "Please don't cry. It's only a 'thing'. Just because it's broken and will no longer be in my possession does not diminish the memories and love I have for the person who gave it to me. And those memories are always available, ready to fill my heart any time I feel like it. That can never be broken or taken away from me. So throw it away and I will now be grateful for the time I had to enjoy it and we can both be grateful for one less 'thing' to collect dust." Then I gave her a great big hug and we both went back to work.

I know it can feel like the possessions we cherish most in life is the only way to hold on to our memories and/or loved ones, but nothing is further from the truth. Memories live on through our hearts, not through the external things. Really getting this at a core level is very freeing and will help you move into a state of non-attachment. And we all know, nothing, absolutely nothing, lasts forever. 

Inspiration

Watch this and then I dare you to tell yourself why you can't achieve your heart's desires.

Patrick Hughes inspirational story - Length 6:58
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qTiYA1WiY8