Awaken the Genie Within

Shifting Your Internal Viewpoint

A fledgling Jewish congregation needed a building in which to hold their services. After searching for a long time, they found that the only space available in the town was a Christian church, so they signed a contract to rent the church's sanctuary for their Sabbath services.

On the first Saturday that the services were held, a congregant came to the rabbi aghast and exclaimed, "There's a big cross on that wall!"

"Shhhh..." the rabbi answered. "It's a 'T' - for 'Torah.'"

I don't know where this story came from originally but I read it in Alan Cohen's book, Wisdom of the Heart.
It's a great illustration of how we can either choose to focus on what is working or focus on what's not working - even if it means spinning the circumstance so you can feel better about it.

From the Gremlin/Genie perspective - your Gremlin sees a cross. Your Genie sees the 'T.'

What's taking place in your life right now that may not be exactly as you want it but is presenting you with the opportunity to do some internal shifting of your viewpoint so you can move from being unhappy to  happy?

 

Two Days We Should Not Worry

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.

This leaves only, Today.

Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, Yesterday and Tomorrow, that we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday, and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.
Author Unknown

A Wave Into A Tsunami

I'm so pleased with myself when I let my Gremlin get a hold of me big time. Now if you're wondering why in the world I would be pleased with this, the reason is simple - it's because of you! My Gremlin issues ultimately awaken my Genie giving me the opportunity to serve you in this blog and that makes me really happy. Plus, it's a good reminder that no matter how much we work to silence the Gremlin, the fact remains, we're human and that bugger is always looking for ways to sneak in and take control.

Here's what happened:

What could have been a wave turned into a tsunami during a phone conversation with my son because I thought he wasn't telling me the truth in regard to a question I asked him. I let the conversation move on only to find myself frustrated because I couldn't free my mind of the answer he gave me. So instead of stopping the conversation and gently asking for more clarity, I chose not to make waves and decided to keep my mouth shut. Big mistake.

Right after we hung up Gertrude (my Gremlin) went into one whopper of a story about him, about me, about us and before I knew it I was at my computer sending off a short email that basically said; I can handle anything you throw at me except a lie. So give it to me straight!

Gertrude was very proud of me for finally taking charge!

Within 10 minutes the phone rings and it's my son. He is not happy with me and asked what I was talking about. I explained my frustration and then he went off for 5 minutes in a very annoyed tone giving me a run down of his entire week to prove he told me the truth. My Gremlin was growing stronger by the second and when he was done I had a few choice words of my own - then silence. With tears running down my face, realizing he didn't lie to me, I said, "Oh my God! I've turned a wave into a tsunami and this whole thing could have been avoided if I had just asked the first time we spoke.

"Yes, Mom. And since we both hate this kind of drama please just talk to me right away when something's bugging you - we'll work it out more easily." I hate it when my own teachings come back to me from my kid!  Actually, it's quite fantastic. 

When there's a situation brewing with someone in your life, if you think about it honestly, how often do you turn a wave into a tsunami? And, how would it improve your relationships if you were willing to speak up even if a little wave was created?

It's true, we never know how people are going to respond but it's critical to speak your concerns before your Gremlin turns them into some cockamamie story. I promise you this; it's a whole lot easier to move through the wave than the tsunami.

Authentic Swing

I recently watched the movie, The Legend of Bagger Vance and there was a particular speech that Will Smith (Bagger Vance, golf caddy to Matt Damon) delivered that just took my breath away. It was so relevant to what happens to us as we grow up and go after our dreams that I wanted to share his beautiful and profound words with you.

Inside each and every one of us is one true swing. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be taught to you or learned. Something that's got to be remembered. Over time the world can rob us of that swing. It gets buried  inside of us with all our wouldas, couldas, and shouldas.
Some folks even forget what that swing was like.

Who have you allowed to rob you of your authentic swing - family members, friends, co-workers, boss or is it simply, yourself?
Are you willing to remember your swing and take some baby steps toward bringing it to life again?

Will Smith describing the field to Matt Damon:
One shot that's in perfect harmony with the field. One shot that's his authentic shot. That shot is going to choose him. There's a perfect shot out there trying to find each and every one of us. All we have to do is get ourselves out of it's way - let it choose us.

Why not get out of your own way - even if just for today, and see the field that's holding your perfect shot then allow it in with as much ease and grace as you can.

Radio Show

Just wanted to put out a quick message letting you know that you can now listen to my latest radio interview with host Marlene Chism of "The Stop Your Drama Show."

Sit back and enjoy!
http://www.womensradio.com/content/templates/?a=2947&z=11

Playing A Role In The Relationship

Technical issues kept me from posting a new blog until now. Please reread Making Him Change to refresh your memory since this is a continuation of that. It's just below this blog.

A client, who I'll call Jane, was upset with her sister because she was angry with Jane for spending so much time with a man she's been dating. Her sister told Jane that she's been very selfish lately and family is apparently no longer a priority. What you should know is this - Jane's sister, who has an 18 month old, has been going through an ugly divorce for the past year. When this all started Jane stepped in to support her sister emotionally and help with the baby as much as possible.

With her sister now doing better and Jane wanting to devote more time to her own life, she's struggling with not understanding her sister's anger and she's angry at her sister for being angry. What we have here is a stalemate and each person can only see her own point of view.

Knowing everyone has to take some responsibility with relationship stuff I asked Jane one question -  "What role did you play in this for it to get to this point?" She couldn't see how she played a part in her sister being angry with her. All she knew is she was loving and supportive, like she always is with her family.

After some back and forth dialogue she got it. She admitted that she was the one who always comes to the rescue for everyone in the family even when she's not asked. She always puts her needs last. She went on to say she was afraid of disappointing them or having them be upset with her. Then she realized she did the same thing with friendships and the men in her life.

She shared, that on some level, she knew she did this and was ready to change. With her new insight she spoke to her sister from a loving place, taking complete responsibility for her part without placing blame. Through this experience a stronger relationship evolved, not just with her sister, but with other family members and friends. Her life is now much richer.

Before I leave you I want to say this - not everyone may be open to hear what you have to say. They may be too stuck in their own muck to be willing to move forward with you. That's a chance you'll have to take and don't let that stop you from speaking up. Just love them knowing they're doing the best they can, wish them well and continue on your way. I promise the void you feel with them no longer in your life will be filled with someone else who can better support your growth and happiness.