I was recently with a group of people who were giving a friend of ours advice on how to handle a situation that his daughter experienced when she first arrived in England for a 3 week internship. There was an issue with the flat she rented and she left after one night. When my friend received a nasty email from the women who rented out the flat demanding he pay for the 3 weeks or else, he wanted to respond in kind with his own nasty words.
As I listened to the advice he was being given from almost everyone else listening I noticed how manipulative it all sounded and their negative comments about a woman none of us knew at all just wasn't helping the situation.
Fed up with what I was hearing I asked him if it was possible that the women did not know that her older son happened to be in the flat during the time it was being rented out since she was vacationing in Ireland. He stared blankly at me in silence. That’s all I needed to hear, now ready to put in my two cents - write a non-emotional email explaining the circumstances why his daughter had to leave – her safety being number one. I suggested that he appeal to the mother in her assuming she would more easily understand his position. Then I suggested he come from a place of compassion explaining how frustrating it must be for her to have expected her flat to be taken care of and paid for while she was away only to find out that’s no longer the case. And, if she didn’t know her son was there, that he was sorry she had to find out this way.
Although his Gremlin really wanted to lash out at her he agreed to do this. He showed me what he wrote before sending it and I was really proud of him because he completely took the high road. In spite of all the threats this women expressed in her first email he stayed away from going down that road. It’s been over a week since he sent the email and he’s heard nothing back. I suspect it’ll stay that way.
Perhaps this woman did pull a scam. Who knows. He can report the situation to the website she advertises on and let them handle it. Or maybe she really was shocked to hear about her son and was too embarrassed to respond. The only thing that really matters is his daughter is safe and he has proof that he sent a factual, non-emotional email stating his case.
Taking the high road isn’t always our first inclination when we feel like we’ve been wronged. But it’s so important to remember that every time you follow that same rugged road someone started on, it only creates deeper grooves along the way. And the deeper the groove the more stuck we become in an energy that doesn’t serve anyone.
The next time you find yourself ready to lash out in response to someone that you feel wronged by, take a moment to separate your emotions from the situation and take the high road. I promise you, it’s a much smoother ride and you’ll get to your desired destination more quickly and with less skid marks.
P.S. If you have a young child or know someone with a young child you may want to check out this sweet children's book by Rosemary Holmes-Gull.
This delightful picture book has strong, positive, and vivid images and is designed to help your child to reach their full potential.
Plus you will also have the satisfaction of knowing that you have helped the AIDS orphans of Zambia. Part of all proceeds from the book will be donated to Mothers Without Borders an organization that works with the orphans.
http://www.childrensimaginings.com
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