I'm always in awe how things show up in my life at the perfect time. I just posted my latest video at my website Awaken The Genie Within - this week it's about relationships. Now relationships are something that are truly the heart and soul of my work. Not just the intimate ones but all relationships, including the one with Self.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to write in today's blog but I knew I wanted to share something touching about relationships. While choosing to wait for something to move through me I picked up a book I'm reading by the Buddhist monk - Thich Nhat Hanh - The Teachings On Love.
When I opened the book I immediately recognized my blog for the day. Equanimity (Upeksha) - one of the four elements of love from the four Brahmaviharas also known as The Four Immeasurable Minds. Upeksha simply means... "nonattachment, nondiscrimination, evenmindedness, or letting go."
This is what I'd like to share from the book:
Without upeksha, your love may become possessive. A summer breeze can be very refreshing; but if we try to put it in a tin can so we can have it entirely for ourselves, the breeze will die. Our beloved is the same. He is like a cloud, a breeze, a flower. If you imprison him in a tin can, he will die. Yet many people do just that. They rob their loved one of her liberty, until she can no longer be herself. They live to satisfy themselves and use their loved one to help them fulfill that. That is not loving; it is destroying. You say you love a person, but if you do not understand her aspirations, her needs, her difficulties, she is in a prison called love. True love allows you to preserve your freedom and the freedom of your beloved. That is upeksha.
As I mentioned in my newest video about relationships - it just happened to be the day of my 28th wedding anniversary when I recorded it. That was not intentional - it was simply one of those synchronistic moments that let's me know this is exactly what I should be doing in the moment.
One of the reasons I believe we've gotten this far in our marriage is because we have learned to allow each other our freedom - to pursue our individual aspirations while supporting each other through the difficulties along the way.
No, it's not always easy, but not being easy is never about the other person - it's always about ourselves and about the choices and allowances we make during the not so easy times.
If you feel like you're being imprisoned in a tin can then it's time to uncover why you're allowing this to be.
If you're needing to imprison someone then you need to ask what you're afraid of that you can't let her or him lead the life s/he wants for her/himself.
You can watch this week's relationship video here:
Awaken The Genie Within
P.S. The Genie Within Transformational Community teleclass starts in 2 weeks!
Come join us and make the rest of 2009 your best year yet!
Learn all about it here:
Awaken The Genie Within
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