Awaken the Genie Within

I Can't! I Did It!

While playing outside with my joyful puppy, Lacey, I heard an inconsistent bouncing ball coming from my neighbor's yard followed by - "Daaaad, I can't do it!" Then the conversation went something like this:

"Actually, I believe you can, but right now it's new to you so you just think you can't. Keep trying and it will get easier, I promise."

More inconsistent bouncing ball.

Daaaad, I can't. It's too haaaard."

"Okay. I realize it's hard but that's because you've never done this before. So would you be willing to just let it be hard and believe just a little bit that it could get easier the more you play through it?"

"Okay. I'll keep playing and see. But if it doesn't get easier I'm stopping no matter what."

"Fair enough."

Inconsistent bouncing ball. Inconsistent bouncing ball. Inconsistent bouncing ball. Consistent bouncing ball!

"Dad! I did it! I did it!"

"Great job! See what can happen when you keep playing through new stuff."

I don't know about you, but I've lost count at the amount of times I've felt like my 6 year old neighbor when I'm faced with doing something new, especially when I'm not all that comfortable with the task at hand.

However, I am so grateful that I heard this conversation because his dad said something so powerful,  "...be willing to just let it be hard and believe just a little bit that it could get easier the more you play through it."

When we stop resisting the hard and allow for something different to show up we increase our chances tenfold of breaking through the wall.

And the idea of playing through the wall instead of working through it is so much more appealing. Isn't it? So why don't you and I make a pact to let the hard just be there as we play through it so we can continue to prove to ourselves what we're truly capable of.

Don't Wait - Do It Now

My friend's wife passed on a few months ago. They were one of the fortunate ones - they loved each other deeply and reminded each other of this everyday. Yesterday he shared with me a photo album that he put together in her memory. It was originally supposed to be for her 60th birthday. Unfortunately, she moved on just a few months shy of that date so he made some additions to the album because of this.

Included in the album were many of the emails he received from family and friends expressing their condolences and how much she meant to them. What struck me, however, was the fact that 90% of them shared their regret of not following through with the fun plans they talked about doing together when worked slowed down and life was a little less hectic. Their heartache for not making time for those plans in the present was so apparent that it brought tears to my eyes and reminded me, there's no future to wait for because it's here, right now.

If you're always talking about the things you want to do with those you care about but aren't doing them then stop talking about it or do it. Make the time because we all know there's one thing we don't know - how much time we have left.

Let my friend be an example and tell those you love in your life that you love them, often. And while you're at it, thank them for being there.

Don't wait - do it now.

Connecting With the Grocery Man

There's a very special man who works at the checkout line at my local grocery store. He's special because he always finds some way to have a connection with every person that goes through his line beyond the usual, "Hi, how are you?"

Jeff might say, "Hi! Great to see you." Or "Hi! I hope you're having a good day today." Or a myriad of other comments that are spontaneous and genuine. You can feel his desire to really connect in the moment. It doesn't feel fake or forced - it's just Jeff being Jeff. One day I bought myself something premade for dinner and he said, "Wait, you didn't get anything to drink with this." I just laughed and said, I have something to drink at home so I'm good to go." To which he responded, "Perfect!" We chatted a bit more and and when he finished my check out he said, "Enjoy your dinner. See you soon."

Now some people could be put off by this, but not me. And from what I've witnessed, most are more than happy to step beyond the usual "How are you?" with him and experience his heart.

What's even more wonderful is how he never allows the occasional grouchy customer lessen his desire to share his best with them. How do I know this? I've asked and he told me that their attitude has nothing to do with his. Gotta love that!

I view the Jeffs in the world as people who understand that we all matter and when we give the best of ourselves in the moment we're letting others know, they matter. He inspires me. And every time I connect with the grocery man I am reminded to give the best of myself to others, too.

Perhaps this story will inspire you to do the same.

Eunice Shriver

As you may know, Eunice Shriver passed away on Tuesday and because I've had such great admiration for her I found myself wanting to write something to honor this remarkable woman. A woman who introduced the world to the Special Olympics - growing it from a blip on the radar to a world renown organization that changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people over the past 41 years. Creating a forum that allowed us to embrace our differences on all levels and turn us into a community of One in the truest sense of the word.

While I was in the process of thinking about what I wanted to write I ended up reading something Sandy, another blog writer wrote, and decided to let her beautiful words do the honoring for both of us.

If you would like to see what she wrote please click Feed Your Dog to be taken to her blog page.

A Perfect Mirror

While attending a small dinner party at a girlfriend's house I was faced with something that actually surprised me. One of the women I met that evening brought up all sorts of emotion in me - and I'm not talking about the happy, peaceful kind. I'm talking about the kind that makes my heart contract instead of expand. Quite honestly it took all my power to not let my evening be consumed by her, so I didn't miss out on all the other people I was enjoying so much.

As the evening went on something occurred to me - she was a perfect mirror showing me my past behaviors that I have worked so hard to transform and realized that some of those behaviors I am still working on transforming. Now, I'd like to tell you, that once I realized this, I found myself in a state of peace with her and my heart expanded tenfold, but that would be a lie.

You see, although I realized she was being a perfect mirror for me in the moment, I still wanted to strangle her at times. Yes, I'm obviously a work in progress and I know I always will be.

It's been a few days since meeting this woman and I have put my energy into being grateful for her revealing more of me to myself. I continue to open my heart toward her but more importantly toward myself - allowing me to continue to work on and transform that part of me that lingers within so I may move into greater love each and every day.

It's so much easier to make other person the bad guy. But when we find ourselves reacting really strongly to someone's behavior and allow it to consume us for hours, days, weeks or longer, I promise you, it's always something in us that we haven't transformed or come to peace with yet.

Which Hand Brings You More Joy?

When my client called upset about the people who didn't respond or choose to come to her art opening I asked her to do a simple exercise and this is how the conversation went:

"Get a one dollar bill and place it in your right hand. Crumble it up and then close both hands. Now open the left hand. What's in it?"

"Nothing."

"Now open the right hand and tell me what's in it."

"One dollar."

"Which hand brings you more joy?"

She got my point immediately.

It is so common for us to allow the Gremlin to grab a hold of us and create a story about all the people who didn't come - They don't love me enough. They're not supportive of my career. They don't want me to succeed. They're jealous and on and on it goes. When the ultimate truth is this - they didn't come - end of story.

People have their reasons for the choices they make and although you wish it were different it's not. Belaboring over what didn't happen isn't going to change anything. Your job is to count your blessings for the people who do support you in whatever you do in your life and at the same time, behave graciously to those who couldn't or chose not to come. Why? Because you'll feel good about yourself and that will bring you more experiences to receive more joy in your life.

So put your attention on the hand that brings you more joy!