It's very common for my clients to want to understand why they behave in ways that doesn't serve them. What I tell them is this; "You really don't have to understand the reason behind your actions in order to create change." This can leave them baffled until I share with them what I'd like to share with you, too.
When you continuously focus on the why, it can keep you turning in circles instead of walking forward. Your Gremlin looooves to have you play, what I call, the NUT game - Needing Understanding Today! Doing this keeps you in your head where your Gremlin resides and keeps your thinking at the same level of existence as the behavior you don't like.
Your Genie, on the other hand, knows that it's more important to simply recognize the behavior that isn't serving you and then make the choice to come up with new ways to do things differently. You'll have to ask yourself new questions such as - "What behavior would make me feel better?" What is it I really want for myself?" "What action would support me better?"
You see, when you know there's a behavior that isn't serving you, that means there's also a part of you that knows what you could do differently that would feel better and serve you. You tap into that part of you by choosing to step outside of your comfort zone to try on new behaviors and see which one fits best.
As crazy as it sounds, you are in your comfort zone even when you're not happy with the way you're behaving because it's the way you know yourself best and the unknown scares people - stopping them dead in their tracks.
As you move into curiosity and consider new possible behaviors, you're no longer stuck in your Gremlin's thinking. That opens the door for you to discover a behavior that feels better, serves you better and in time, allows you to walk forward and through the open door.
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