22 years ago I had my son and 22 years ago my life changed in ways I never imagined. If you're a parent, I know you know what I'm talking about. If you're not, that's okay - read on because this pertains to you, too.
Not only did the dynamics in my relationship with my husband change after we had our son, but who I was becoming as a person was changing quickly. As the days, weeks and months passed it was very clear to me that I would never be able to go back to who I was or how I interacted with the people in my life. Becoming a mother, quite simply, had a huge impact on me and therefore, an impact with everyone I was closest to in my life - especially my wonderful husband.
As time went by I spoke very little about what was happening inside of me and that frustrated certain people in my life because they felt like they were losing me. I kept thinking, as soon as I get to where I'm headed emotionally and spiritually, then I'll start sharing. But after much turmoil in my marriage I came to the realization that I'd better start sharing now or this could be the end for us. My willingness to be vulnerable and honest about what I was going through was what allowed me to not only become more clear throughout my journey more quickly, but it strengthened all my relationships.
Because of this experience and other growing pains I've had throughout my life, I always encourage my friends, family and clients to share some of the changes they're going through with those who are effected the most by those changes.
When I ask people, "Are you waiting to get to the end result of your change before you're willing to let people in?" The answer is always a resounding, "YES!" And it's resounding because they never thought of it like that. The truth is, if we're interested in self-growth and creating as much inner peace as possible, then there's really no end to reach because we're just perpetually expanding emotionally and spiritually and that's wonderful.
When you inform your loved ones about the changes you're going through, even if you don't have complete clarity about what that is, you're at least keeping them connected to you so they don't feel like they're losing you. And, yes, it's very scary for everyone involved when someone is changing and others aren't. It's scary for you because you're not sure where this will lead you and how your life will be different. It's scary for your loved ones who want to keep things status quo because they're comfortable with the way things are. But when people truly love you, when they want you to be happy, they will come around. And as you share information along the way, and they see clarity and joy growing in you, you get to be a great example of encouragement for them to do the same for themselves without ever having to tell them so.
So bring them along and allow them to witness your journey not as a spectator who doesn't understand what they're observing, but as someone who's been included, so they better understand you, what you're going through, and how you're choosing to play the game of LIFE - Living In Full Expansion
Hi Linda! Thank you for this encouraging word. I'm in the mddile of a big growth spurt now that has me pulled back a bit. Even in this moment, I am perfectly ok, right where I need to be. Trusting & believing,Shileen
Posted by: Maria | April 17, 2012 at 11:31 PM
EXCELLENT Linda I could not have said it any better. It's amazing how only today 27th June 2010 I have been chiding myself with the words "Am 32 years of age and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME even though am trying to communicate with them." It's super-fascinating! But for me I take comfort in being the ACTOR and yet the AUDIENCE as I watch in amusment the unfolding of my life in series of EEXPERIENCES on the THEATHRE of LIFE. It's PURE FUN that all should be encouraged to get involved with. I love the topic: " Bring Them Along". Keep up the profound words it's always my pleasure to see your issues. Thanks a lot Linda. It's an honour to have you my my LIFE
Posted by: Tanika | June 27, 2010 at 09:05 PM