Awaken the Genie Within

Looking For the Fun!

While waiting in the check out line at my grocery store on Halloween day I noticed the checker had on a silly costume and an even sillier wig. I smiled and then looked around at the other employees to see what crazy costumes they were wearing only to discover that no one else was in costume.

When I got up to my checker I asked him why no one else was wearing a costume. He said at first he was feeling really awkward when he got to work and realized this. But then quickly decided not to let that ruin his day and that's when he chose to believe that the others just didn't have as much fun in their spirit as he did! He also said, "This is who I am. Just someone looking for the fun any chance I get!"

How great is that comment! "Looking for the fun any chance I get." The fact that he was the only one who dressed up and decided not to be intimidated by being in the minority speaks volumes about this person.

How often are you willing to look for the fun and not be intimidated by what others might think? It's not an easy thing to do on a daily basis but I'll tell you what, I've been inspired to follow this person's lead and look for the fun any chance I get no matter what anyone else thinks - especially my Gremlin!

A New Friend

I have a new friend. When I became friends with her I thought I would be the one serving her, keeping her spirits up, supporting her in any way she needed support. Boy was I ever wrong! As it turns out, she serves me so much more!

She's gracious and joyful and always glad to see me. She never complains and always looks on the bright side of life. She never judges and simply takes life in stride. Her name is Ann.

Ann became my friend when I started volunteering at a home for the elderly to spend time with people who don't receive many visitors. Turns out I hit the jackpot having the opportunity to be in her presence every week and listen to the stories about her life - a life that wasn't easy at all. But that didn't stop Ann from being happy.

As she told me, "It's my life and moanin' and groanin' about it ain't going to make it any different. So I just decided to accept whatever came my way and do my best to keep on goin'. A long time ago I figured out that when I smiled even the heartache seemed a little less painful and eventually the sun was shining on me again, never fails."

Ann is living proof that that attitude not only makes a difference in how we feel but in how we look. When I first met her she asked me how old I thought she was. When I said about 80 she just gave me a sly little smile and proudly said, "I'm 100 years old and in December I'll be 101!" I was speechless and in that moment I knew I was in the presence of someone very special.

When I grow up I want to be just like Ann!

You Can't With Some People

Those words were spoken by a gentleman as he was leaving the office of our chiropractor, Kim. Now Kim doesn't do traditional adjustments, although when absolutely necessary she will. But for the most part, she brings you back into alignment by clearing any negative energy and emotions stored in your body enabling you to heal more deeply.

The words she said to the man leaving were, "Stay joyful and peaceful while you're with them." To which he responded, "Well, the fact is you can't with some people and when I'm with these people there's no chance of being joyful or at peace." And then he was gone. 

Now Kim knows the work I do with my clients and in that moment we just locked eyes and gave each other a knowing smile. A smile that said, "Actually, you can, when you're willing to take responsibility for your own emotions and not let others control how you feel."

For this man, he was right because it's his truth. I'm going to assume he's never known it to be any other way when he's with people who are difficult or unpleasant. But what he doesn't realize is every time he allows himself to go to that unpleasant place with them, he's giving all his power away because he believes he doesn't have a choice.

The bottom line is this; you always, always, always have a choice as to how you want to respond to someone. How you want to feel. How you want to behave. Is it easy to stay in that place of peace and joy during challenging situations with others? Absolutely not! But that doesn't mean it's impossible. 

Does it take work? Yes! It requires a lot of practice. Taking several deep breaths in the moment. Taking a moment to gain your composure before you speak. And doing your best to not take things so personally. All of these things gets you on the road to gaining control over your emotional energy - moving from your Gremlin thinking into your Genie awareness. It is living in that new awareness that will support your highest good and bring you the peace and joy we all strive for in life.

A Perfect Mirror

While attending a small dinner party at a girlfriend's house I was faced with something that actually surprised me. One of the women I met that evening brought up all sorts of emotion in me - and I'm not talking about the happy, peaceful kind. I'm talking about the kind that makes my heart contract instead of expand. Quite honestly it took all my power to not let my evening be consumed by her, so I didn't miss out on all the other people I was enjoying so much.

As the evening went on something occurred to me - she was a perfect mirror showing me my past behaviors that I have worked so hard to transform and realized that some of those behaviors I am still working on transforming. Now, I'd like to tell you, that once I realized this, I found myself in a state of peace with her and my heart expanded tenfold, but that would be a lie.

You see, although I realized she was being a perfect mirror for me in the moment, I still wanted to strangle her at times. Yes, I'm obviously a work in progress and I know I always will be.

It's been a few days since meeting this woman and I have put my energy into being grateful for her revealing more of me to myself. I continue to open my heart toward her but more importantly toward myself - allowing me to continue to work on and transform that part of me that lingers within so I may move into greater love each and every day.

It's so much easier to make other person the bad guy. But when we find ourselves reacting really strongly to someone's behavior and allow it to consume us for hours, days, weeks or longer, I promise you, it's always something in us that we haven't transformed or come to peace with yet.

Using All Your Strength

As a very independent woman it took me a long time to reach out and ask for help when I needed it most. I used to think it was a sign of weakness if I couldn't figure something out, accomplish a goal or even move through an emotionally difficult time, all on my own. I believed if I involved another person then I didn't really accomplish anything or I'm actually not as strong as I think I am. Boy am I glad I gave up that belief! And trust me on this one, it is just a belief.

Over the years I have worked with many people who had that same belief. When I shared a certain story with them it always seemed to reach them at a level that immediately shifted their thinking and supported them in the process of being willing to ask for help.

I just came across that story while I was doing a little house cleaning in my office and thought I'd share it with you.

A boy and his father were out walking when they came across a large stone. The boy said to his father, "Do you think if I use all my strength, I can move this rock?" His father answered, "If you use all your strength, I am sure you can do it."

The boy began to push the rock. Exerting himself as much as he could, he pushed until sweat poured off his forehead, but the rock did not budge. Discouraged, the boy told his father, "You were wrong. I can't do it."

The father placed his arm around the boy's shoulder and said, "No, son. I was not wrong. You didn't use all your strength. You didn't ask me for help."
Anonymous

Where are you not using all your strength in your life?

Favorite Emotion

One of my mentors, Susan Gregg, mentioned something on her podcast that got me thinking. She said, "We all have our favorite emotion." and as I thought about this I realized how true it was.

On the surface, most people would say that their favorite emotion is happiness or love or joy or any emotion that feels good. But when we take a closer look, although people would like to believe those are their favorite emotions, many don't necessarily live their life as though they are. In fact, I can think of a lot of people whose favorite emotions are more in line with anger, sadness and even fear.

You see a favorite emotion isn't necessarily one that you really like having, it's actually one that you tend to spend more time with. It's an emotion that automatically comes up before any other emotion when you're in a challenging situation. It's an emotion that runs your life at an unconscious level.

In order to experience significant change in our life we must become aware of any favorite emotions that don't serve us - the emotions that hold us back from making peace or joy or love our new favorite emotion.

I'm now inviting you to get really honest with yourself and see what your favorite emotion is. If it's one that serves your highest good, stay with it! If it lowers your energy and keeps you stuck, then it's time to do things differently and think from a more empowered place.

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The Genie Within Transformational Community teleclass begins tomorrow, Sunday, July 26th at 5pm PST.
It's not too late to come join us. You can learn more and sign up here:
Awaken The Genie Within

Upeksha

I'm always in awe how things show up in my life at the perfect time. I just posted my latest video at my website Awaken The Genie Within - this week it's about relationships. Now relationships are something that are truly the heart and soul of my work. Not just the intimate ones but all relationships, including the one with Self.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to write in today's blog but I knew I wanted to share something touching about relationships. While choosing to wait for something to move through me I picked up a book I'm reading by the Buddhist monk - Thich Nhat Hanh - The Teachings On Love.

When I opened the book I immediately recognized my blog for the day. Equanimity (Upeksha) - one of the four elements of love from the four Brahmaviharas also known as The Four Immeasurable Minds. Upeksha simply means... "nonattachment, nondiscrimination, evenmindedness, or letting go."

This is what I'd like to share from the book:
Without upeksha, your love may become possessive. A summer breeze can be very refreshing; but if we try to put it in a tin can so we can have it entirely for ourselves, the breeze will die. Our beloved is the same. He is like a cloud, a breeze, a flower. If you imprison him in a tin can, he will die. Yet many people do just that. They rob their loved one of her liberty, until she can no longer be herself. They live to satisfy themselves and use their loved one to help them fulfill that. That is not loving; it is destroying. You say you love a person, but if you do not understand her aspirations, her needs, her difficulties, she is in a prison called love. True love allows you to preserve your freedom and the freedom of your beloved. That is upeksha.

As I mentioned in my newest video about relationships - it just happened to be the day of my 28th wedding anniversary when I recorded it. That was not intentional - it was simply one of those synchronistic moments that let's me know this is exactly what I should be doing in the moment.

One of the reasons I believe we've gotten this far in our marriage is because we have learned to allow each other our freedom - to pursue our individual aspirations while supporting each other through the difficulties along the way.

No, it's not always easy, but not being easy is never about the other person - it's always about ourselves and about the choices and allowances we make during the not so easy times.

If you feel like you're being imprisoned in a tin can then it's time to uncover why you're allowing this to be.

If you're needing to imprison someone then you need to ask what you're afraid of that you can't let her or him lead the life s/he wants for her/himself.

You can watch this week's relationship video here:
Awaken The Genie Within

P.S. The Genie Within Transformational Community teleclass starts in 2 weeks!
Come join us and make the rest of 2009 your best year yet!
Learn all about it here:
Awaken The Genie Within  

Just Keep On Going

During dinner my husband and I were listening to an Ella Fitzgerald CD and when she was singing one of my favorite songs - Mack The Knife - I heard something that shocked me. She didn't know the words to the song after a couple of lines and just made words up as she went along.

Now my shock was mostly because I couldn't believe I never noticed this before. Nonetheless, it was wonderful listening to her having great fun making words up while maintaining the tune for Make The Knife. She recorded this CD live so she couldn't very well just stop in the middle of the song - or could she?

Yes, she could have, but being the professional she is, she didn't and chose to make the best of it and just keep on going. When the song was over the audience went wild. I loved it, too!

As a speaker, I know what it feels like to forget the words sometimes, but I always do my best to keep going on. Even if it means I have to say, "Hmmm, this talk would be so much more interesting for you if I could remember what I wanted to say next." I usually get a laugh and people tend to embrace me.

Why? I can only assume it's because I allow my humanness to show through reminding the audience that I'm really no different than them - just here doing the best I can - mistakes and all.

So here's the deal. When you find yourself messing up in front of a few people or hundreds, don't let your Gremlin grab hold and take you down for the count. Let your Genie lead the way and help you laugh at yourself, make the best of the situation and just keep on going! 

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I'm very excited to announce that I just launched my introduction video that will be followed by 6 other videos to help you with many different areas in your life. If you're a subscriber to my newsletter then you've already received the email about this. 

But many of you who read my blog are not on my regular subscriber list and I want you to have the opportunity to see the videos, too. Click the link and you'll be taken to the page to watch this 4 minute intro video.

Awaken The Genie Within

If you want to receive the weekly email announcing when a new video is ready for viewing just fill out the 5 Tips to Quiet the Gremlin form on the webpage and that will put you on my subscriber list.

With Decision Comes Peace

A client who I recently completed working with sent me an email that had so much wisdom in it that I asked if I could share part of it with you - anonymously. I am fiercely protective of my clients privacy especially when they share personal things that involve others in their life.

Nothing brings me greater joy than to see people I've had the privilege of coaching, apply into their life, what they learned and reap the benefits.  She is living proof of this!

I chose to bold certain areas that offer great reminders for all of us.

Here is what she wrote to me:

Hi Linda,
I think of you often, especially on the difficult days. Helps me get perspective again.
Today it's tough to be "mom" and communicate clearly about rules, expectations, choices. Lots of protest coming back. I hold onto the good. I keep my calm. I know her storm will pass and she will be  better off having had a mom right now, not a friend.

I remind myself that I deserve to have my own needs play a role in our family, that I am not a servant.

I remind myself of how far we have come, that my husband and I are on the same page now, stronger now, that this is all good, for ALL of us. I get through the moment.
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And the following paragraph she wrote is a perfect example of how we can still be at peace even when certain situations in our life aren't exactly as we would like them to be. Consider the whole piece bolded:

I am continually surprised. Since separating more from my sister, I am not struggling to find balance, but more easily finding it. I am not fighting impulses to emotionally hurt myself, but following my internal voices, honoring them, even when that means that my desired world (the one in which my sister and I can be easily close) is not in evidence. I am not struggling with the reality of my world, but respecting the deep internal voice I hear. I am not "taking the blame" because I am not judging my experience, nor hers, but  acknowledging that we are in different places, sometimes incompatibly uncomfortable....  and it becomes more okay as I fulfill my own life/world.
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If you are struggling with anyone or any situation in your life, please reread this and know that you have the inner strength to do exactly what she has decided to do for herself. Because the bottom line? It is just that - a decision.

Walking The Talk In Business

Last week I had the pleasure of speaking with Bud Bilanich. He's known as the "Common Sense Guy" and the author of a great business book; Straight Talk For Success. After reading his book it's obvious why he's known as the "Common Sense Guy." It's full of wonderful, common sense information that many people in companies and corporations often forget about - it would serve the business world well for people to read Bud's book.

But that's not what I want to focus on here - I want to focus on Bud, the human being. You see, I reached out last week to this complete stranger from Denver via email, wanting some information. Normally, when I reach out to someone for help I get a short email back with the information I needed and that pretty much ends our connection. Bud was different. He not only responded quickly but he wanted to speak about it on the phone.

Sounded good to me. I much prefer connecting with a live person since I believe it's the next best thing if we can't meet in person. By the time we were finished talking we decided to exchange our books with each other.

What Bud did next blew me away. He wrote about and recommended my book in his blog. So why am I sharing this with you? Because Bud is one of those rare people in the world of business, and life, who walks his talk.

He believes in authentic relationships. He believes in giving without expecting anything in return. And in his Building Strong Relationships chapter he says:

• Be truthful.
• Get to know other people - really know them.
• Help people succeed.
• Be a friend.
• Tell stories. Stories make people human.
• Live in the human moment. Attend the emotional needs of the people with whom you are interacting.

Bud elaborates on these points in Straight Talk For Success and as simple as they may seem, the fact is, people don't always live by such common sense advice - especially when they're wanting something for themselves. It's really easy to forget, in a world that is full of people wanting to get ahead in life, that when you're willing to do for others without the expectation of something in return, relationships can and do flourish. And the truth is, you never, ever know where that will lead you.

I invite you to see where you can build a strong or even stronger relationship - especially in business - without wanting anything in return. And then, be willing to make a habit of it. I promise you, it does pay dividends - even if those dividends are just feeling good about yourself!