Awaken the Genie Within

Don't Worry, Be Happy

This morning before my husband left for work he shared a wonderful story with me. He works in the film industry and it's been a very long week for the crew and actors. The energy in the room last night was not its usual upbeat, lively, fun loving group, which is understandable given the hours they've been working all week and how tired everyone was.

During some down time, one of the actresses sat next to my husband and he noticed she had a bit of a heavy heart. In his wonderful, thoughtful way, he did something that he never imagined would have had the effect it did. He pulled out his phone and played Don't Worry, Be Happy for the actress hoping it would lift her spirits as it did for him throughout the day. 

She glanced over at him with a slight smile and started whistling the tune. He could feel her energy lighten. Someone else heard the song and started whistling, too. Within a matter of minutes everyone was whistling Don't Worry, Be Happy while they went on with their work.

He said the entire atmosphere changed profoundly and that it was one of the most wonderful moments he had experienced in a long time.  

If you don't think one person has the ability to shift the energy of an entire room one way or another, think again. The question is - are you going to let yourself be taken hostage by someone else's energy that's dark and heavy or set yourself free and perhaps others, too, with an energy that's full of light and joy?

Nothing Works For Me!

Last weekend my husband and I were at small dinner party. The subject of meditation came up and one of the guests was saying how frustrating he finds meditation.

"Every time I meditate my mind just goes bonkers. It won't stop. No matter how long I sit there. It drives me nuts but I really do want to be able enjoy the practice of it."

The hostess of the party suggested a breathing technique that works well for her. He said, "Yeah, I've tried that, too, and it doesn't work for me. The mind just goes and goes and goes."

I then suggested a technique I recently learned that has worked beautifully for me. When the hostess heard this she said, "Oooh, I like the sounds of that. I'm going to try that as well."

Then our frustrated meditator chimed in and said, "Well, I don't think that'll work for me. My mind is obviously too busy to get to a place of quieting down. It seems nothing works for me."

At that point I wasn't willing to convince him otherwise because he appeared more attached to it not working for him then the possibility of having another experience.

Do you ever find yourself doing this? Claiming that you really want to master something or make a change but whatever suggestions are thrown at you, you find a reason why it won't work. This can happen at such an unconscious level - totally unaware of what you're doing to yourself. It's your Gremlin's greatest tactic. IT is a master at keeping you right where you are even when you believe you want a situation to be different.

If this sounds familiar then take note and the next time you find yourself running this scenario tell your Gremlin to take a hike and then do your best to keep readjusting until you find what works and allows for a better experience.

If you need help quieting that Gremlin you can download my 
5 Tips to Silence Your Gremlin at my website.

 

Being Witnessed

Yesterday the word witnessed was uttered by two people I spoke with separately during the day. The first time was when someone said to me, "Linda, I want you to know that when I get your emails expressing your frustration about something you're struggling with, always know you are being witnessed emotionally and spiritually, even if I don't respond back. Because sometimes I know you really don't need a response and you just need to release yourself in a safe place."

She is absolutely right.

Then while having another conversation with a friend she said, "I really believe people just need to be witnessed." 

It was in that moment I understood why there are times when those I do a hand analysis for can quickly have tears welling up. Through the information their hands let me reveal to them, they are being witnessed in a way that they have struggled to explain to others about themselves. (This they have told me) Suddenly they feel deeply understood and less confused about the obstacles that seem to stop them at every turn. Their life starts to make sense. Even if it's painful in the moment, there's still a great sense of relief.

When I see this happening for someone I am honored and humbled by the opportunity to be a part of that moment with them. The walls come down and now we are just two souls connecting from a place of love and honesty. There is nothing more powerful than that!

People need to be seen inside and out. They need to know their life matters. They need to be heard. They need their feelings to be acknowledged.

Being witnessed gives that to people.

Who can you be a witness for today?

Who can be a witness for you?

We all deserve being witnessed. 

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Your Life Is In Your Hands - Literally!

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Rewriting The Plan

Flying home from vacation I watched a movie called The Adjustment Bureau. If you haven't seen it, it's basically about all humans having a master plan that they are not aware of which needs to be adhered to throughout their life. It's up to the bureau to keep that plan in place.

Warning: before you read further I do reveal the ending. :-)

When the two main characters, Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, fall in love this creates havoc for the bureau and they are determined to keep them apart at all costs in order to ensure there is no deviation from the master plan drawn up by "The Chairman" for the future of all humankind.

Damon ends up learning about the bureau's plan and ultimately decides not to accept it. Toward the end of the movie he and Blunt run for their life to stay together. When they become trapped with no where else to run, they are met by "The Chairman" who shows them the book with their plan. They watched the plan change before their eyes allowing them to be together. When Damon asked why he rewrote the plan for them, The Chairman said:

"We won't rewrite the plan you will."

It was their absolute will and determination that rewrote their plan and it could not be denied - not even by "The Chairman". 

Now I know that this is just a movie, but that statement - "We won't rewrite the plan you will." spoke a great truth. 

It's always up to us to do whatever we need to do in order to rewrite a plan that isn't working for us. Is that an easy thing to do? Usually not. And our Gremlin will give us all sorts of seemingly brilliant reasons why we shouldn't mess with the plan. But the fact is when the plan isn't in our best interest, we've got to rewrite it. And the only way that plan is going to be rewritten is by making a conscious decision to take a stance and start over again. 

What needs to be rewritten in your life?

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Discover your life purpose, lessons and spiritual school:

Scientific Hand Analysis and Coaching 

Your Life Is In Your Hands - Literally!

What State Is Your Heart In?

For over a decade I've been helping people with their relationships and I'm the first to admit that I'm an ongoing student in this area. I read books about the subject, I listen to audio programs, attend teleseminars and I most definitely observe what takes place in my own relationships which allows me to continue growing and use personal experiences to help others with their situations.

So why am I telling you all this? Because every now and then, something I've been studying jumps out at me and touches me deeply. Which is exactly what happened with a book I just finished - The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute. 

Although it's written in a non-fiction format, the teachings within the story are full of truths and just magnificent. The biggest point I want to mention here is when you're in a relationship conflict, whether that be face to face or in your own mind about another person, it's critical to know what state your heart is in. Is it at war or at peace? Because the state it's in will play a major role in how that relationship expresses itself.

The fact is, it's very possible to be in conflict with someone, a very serious conflict, and still have a heart at peace. When we see people as equals and not our inferiors or less than, our heart can remain at peace. It's easier to find solutions, to work together, to look at our own shortcomings and internal trickeries and forgive.

When we believe someone in our life needs to change but we're not willing to consider how we might also change to help the situation, our hearts are at war because we are seeing ourselves as better than or more deserving.

Sometimes we're helpful for appearance sake and nothing more. Sometimes we know we should apologize to another person and don't. Sometimes we refuse to help someone even though we know it's the right thing to do. In each of those instances we have betrayed ourselves, first and foremost, and created a heart at war. All because we've told ourselves some story that ultimately justifies our action.

"A choice to betray myself," he said, "is a choice to go to war." 

"When our hearts are at war, we tend to exaggerate others' faults; that's what we call horriblilizing. We also tend to exaggerate the differences between ourselves and those we are blaming."

"...We also exaggerate the importance of anything that will justify us."
Quotes from the book.

It introduces the concept of our justification styles illustrated in 4 boxes and when we are willing to see ourselves in any of these boxes it can reveal our warring hearts. They are:

Better Than box
I Deserve box
Must Be Seen As box
Worse Than box

There are so many gems throughout this book that I felt compelled to tell you about it and invite you to get a copy for yourself because I truly believe it can have a huge impact on your relationships and allow you to see yourself more clearly.  

And it's very clear to me that when my heart is at war my Gremlin is leading the way and when it's at peace my Genie is thriving.

Again, the book is - The Anatomy of Peace - Resolving the Heart of Conflict 
The Arbinger Institute

Seeing Beyond

Recently I shared a personal story with a client who was struggling to get to the other side of a situation. I'd like to share that same story here hoping it can help you, too, now or in the future.

Many years ago I was trained as a Neuro Linguistic Practitioner. During our training we were required to break a wooden board in half with our hand which was to be used as a metaphor in our life. On one side of the board we wrote down our fears, concerns, doubts - basically all the things that we believed were stopping us from reaching our dreams. On the other side we wrote our dreams. 

When it came time to break the board my heart was racing. With all those fears and doubts that I wrote on the top side of the board staring me in the face, I had little belief about accomplishing the task at hand - and on my first two attempts my fears and doubts became my reality, not to mention a sore hand.

Just before my third attempt my instructor walked up to me and whispered in my ear; "See beyond what's in front of you and aim for the other side. Your dreams are there waiting for you. Just because you can't see them with your physical eyes doesn't mean you can't reach them. 

I instantly understood and the next thing I knew, the board was laying on the floor in two.

In life, it's so easy to only see the obstacles that are right in front of us and put all our attention on them. Our Gremlin thrives on that. The only way to break through any of those obstacles is to grab hold of your Genie Within and start seeing beyond. With your new eyes will come new beliefs, ideas and inspiration.

It's Everywhere - Start Noticing

A few days ago I had some extra time in the morning to sit with a cup of tea and read the paper, thoroughly. Well, by the time I was close to being done I found that my energy was not in a place of joy. I had been internalizing a lot of what I was reading and decided I needed to shift my energy, fast. I was not a happy camper and I had only been up for an hour!

So I got ready to go out to do the many errands I had planned for that day. While driving, I had to slow down as a little boy and his mother were crossing the street heading toward the mailbox. What I witnessed was so precious. Mom lifted her son up and let him put the letter in the mailbox - he was so excited! They hugged and then skipped back across the street. The simplicity of that action, creating so much joy and love, made my heart soar. 

While walking out of the grocery store I saw a woman struggling with her bags. Out of nowhere a gentleman appeared and offered to take two of the bags from her - she was extremely grateful. They proceeded to walk to her car and when the task was complete she thanked him again, hugged him gently and then they went their separate ways both smiling from ear to ear.

My last stop was the post office. While waiting in line a conversation started up between the two people in front of me - an older gentleman and a young mom with her new baby. He was admiring the baby and started sharing some of his memories about when he was a new dad. There was much kindness taking place in the conversation and with genuine interest from both parties. As he got to the front of the line he said, "Wow, it's so much nicer waiting in line when you have someone to connect with. The time flew by. Thank you!" And she responded with, "The pleasure was all mine." 

When I left my house that morning I was feeling a bit depressed. By the time I got home I was on cloud nine. My time out reminded me that love, generosity, kindness and genuine human connection are everywhere - we just have to notice it. More times than not it's right in front of us and we don't notice it because we're so busy thinking about a million other things that it doesn't allow us to be present.  

It's just too easy to read the paper and listen to the negativity of the news and think that's all the world consists of. But the truth is, there's so much good in the world and people, at their core, are wonderful. The more we open our eyes and start noticing, the more it shows up in our day to day life.

Put It Down For A Moment

A wonderful client sent me an email about stress and dealing with the burdens in life.
I wanted to share some of what was written because it's a great reminder when dealing with day to day life stuff. I don't know the origin of the author so I can't give credit as I like to do.

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A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied. "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, the burden will become increasingly heavy: and we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down: don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

"...Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while." 

The lecturer goes on to share some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. 

• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. 

• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker. 

• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

• It may be that your sole purpose in life is to be kind to others.

• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. 

• Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 

• Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. 

• The second mouse gets the cheese. 

• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 

• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. 

• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. 

• We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box. (My Favorite!)

  
  

• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. 

  
  

  So if the burdens of life are becoming more than you can handle, put down whatever is weighing you down and take a rest. You may find that it's just not worth picking it back up. However, if you really feel the need to pick it back up again, it will most likely be there waiting for you - your Gremlin will make sure of that!

Five Inches

While I was watching some of the Masters golf tournament the announcer quoted golf great, Bobby Jones; "The game of golf is mostly played on a five inch course - the space between your ears."

I thought that was a brilliant assessment of this game and then it occurred to me how true this is in the game of life, too. Your Genie and the Gremlin reside within those five inches and depending on who you're feeding will determine the kind of mood you're in, day you're having, experiences you'll experience, relationships you have and on and on.

So make the effort to use the five inches that you have between your ears to bring your best game forth!

Moments Versus Seconds

While reading Alan Cohen's new book, A Daily Dose of Sanity, he wrote about the difference between the moments in our life and the seconds. I'd like to share his wonderful words of wisdom with you.

Life is meaningful not for the seconds that tick by, but for the moments that fill them. 

Seconds are measured in time; moments are measured in experience. Seconds tick you closer to death; moments amplify your life. Seconds are navigated by the mind; moments are recognized by spirit. Seconds are fragmenting; moments are completing. Seconds are subject to planning; moments occur spontaneously. Seconds are about getting somewhere; moments are about being somewhere. 

Today and every day, be open to find as many moments as possible and bask in them. There may be a lot more of them than you have recognized.

I experienced a moment yesterday that made my heart soar. I was waiting behind another car at a 4-way stop sign intersection. An elderly woman was crossing the street very slowly - she seemed to be struggling a great deal to get to the other side. The gentleman in the car in front of me jumped out and assisted this woman to the other side of the street. When they got there she gave him the sweetest look and a kiss on the cheek. As he walked back to his car he looked like he was on cloud nine. I beeped my horn gently to get his attention and then gave him a big thumbs up. He smiled, got into his car, and went on his way.

There's moments taking place all the time and it's up to us to notice them. If you have a moment you'd like to share please do so here.