Limitations Expert

During a call with a client it was very clear to me that she was more invested in her limitations then her possibilities. No matter what I said, she had an excuse as to why something couldn't be done or why she was being held back from being able to move forward.

When a client gets into this mindset I will sometimes make the decision to let him or her know who he or she is being in the moment - a limitations expert - and it was no different with this client. 

After listening to a litany of excuses I casually said, "Hey, Jessica, did you know that you're a limitations expert?"
"Excuse me?"
"I said, you're a limitations expert."
"What do you mean by that?" she asked in a slightly defensive tone.

And then I supported my statement by repeating some of the things she had been expressing to me. After a long silence, there was a deep sigh followed by, "You're right. That's exactly who I've been this entire call. But I never thought about myself like that until you used those words."

Now I was excited! Because once someone realizes something about his or herself that isn't serving him or her there's an opening for a whole new dialogue and change. And that's exactly what happened during the rest of the call resulting in new possibilities and her willingness to try on new experiences.

We're all experts at something, whether we realize it or not. It's just sometimes our Gremlin steps in and confuses us by focusing on the expertise that doesn't allow us to create the change we are desiring in our heart. 

So I gotta ask, is there any chance you're a limitations expert?

Comments

[Linda]

Hi Carolyn,
Thank you for your comment on my blog. I'm sorry to learn about your recent diagnosis but I trust that you will do everything in your power to continue looking for what is working in your life because in spite of the MS there is much.
And as you are discovering for yourself, there are sooo many people who are there to help and support you. Many people need to learn to allow support to flow into their lives and it's as much of a gift to receive as it is to give back. Always remember the gift you are giving someone when you allow them to help you along the way. It makes them feel wonderful. A true win/win in life.

I wish you all the best as you stay strong and put your attention on your Genie and not the Gremlin.

With Blessings,
Linda

[Carolyn Cordon]

I love this! I've recently been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and a dear friend warned me not to blame everything on my illness. She said I had to take control, and not be ruled by it.

I am working hard at maintaining a positive outlook on my life, and I'm finding that people are reaching out to help me. It's not great to have MS, but it's wonderful to find the kindness in others!

[Linda]

Thank you for your comment. I know you're sharing something that a lot of people go through. It's very common to observe what others have tried in their own life that doesn't work out and then attach that experience to your own life. When the truth is, someone else's experience has nothing to do with what can or can not happen with your experience.
We are always starting from a clean slate with anything new and the only way the slate gets muddied up is if we add someone else's past experiences to it.

[witheld]

yes, I'm the queen of limitations! I find that having had lots of experience watching good people try worthy things and fail has made me kind of jaded and that this cautionary approach, when shared, helps people better plan, save time, money or disappointment. Ah, but does it? You've got me thinking . . .